OK, whatever the age, we all have them. They all look different, but our whole family has them, yes, even me. Somehow, I've never left the teenage "whatever" stage... or the teenage rebellious stage... or the -- oh I clearly just need to grow up!
My kids all have temper-tantrums too. I suppose that can be expected since they are young. I think I DID expect them all to have them, so it wasn't really a surprise. What I have learned that actually fascinates me, is that all their tantrums really look pretty different. It's taken me awhile, but now we actually have behavior charts tailor made to help them all stop pitching fits... I finally realized that's what they're all doing, just in their own unique ways. Don't you actually think that's pretty cool? I mean, not the chart part, the part about them each being so unique that they pitch different looking fits? Course it keeps me on my toes - the methods of parenting that work for one, don't necessarily work for the others. Having this realization though has made the fact that with four kids in the house and at least one pitching some sort of fit at any given time an interesting perspective. It's like doing research! Huh, looky there at that reaction - that's completely different. Oh, and that's an interesting choice too!
So Trevor who is seven and is my sensitive and anxious child doesn't really pitch the classic fit. He's the punisher. Fine! I guess I have to go to my room now! I guess I can't play on the computer now! You get the idea. He punishes HIMSELF. Of course he doesn't like the reaction I give him. Well, OK, if you insist OR you can sit on the step for a few minutes and come back and try again. Whichever!
BJ who is 6 1/2 is completely different in his fits. He's not a real typical fit thrower either. He employs a couple of tactics which really seem to dig him into deeper trouble instead of out of it. He's my cryer - really every family needs one (just like every family should have a puker, but I digress). It works really well for him I think outside of the home to folks who don't realize its a tactic. He can turn on and off the tears in an instant. It's actually an amazing talent, when you think about it. He's perfected the cry, really... he can do them all - the puppy dog eyes with the single tear streaking down his face, the full out blubbering that I can only equate to the cartoons character's where their tears are literally shooting from their eyes and everything in between, and all of it can start and stop like it was on a switch. Phenomenal! I'm not a big fan of the blubbering though I have to admit. It's really quite messy - not just tears but snot and spit and all in your face if you're nearby. The other impressive tactic is the silence. Sometimes you get a twinge of anger peeking out from his eyes with that but usually, its just an unwillingness to talk - or at least actually say something. This one USED to work well for him too, but I think most people have realized they are being fooled by now. When he first came home, I think people really believed he actually didn't have the actual language to express himself. Now, though, you see him reading, or playing with friends and you learn real quick that his mastery of the English language is not the issue.
Easton - he pitches quite the fit, as the neighbors can all attest to. He pitches the most typical fits, I'd say, except that he'll be SIX next month and instead of getting better they are growing in frequency and magnitude. He loves screaming and screeching. Just screaming itself or screaming words, whichever. He's defiant - choices do not work with this child, any choice you might give him just gives him more things to refuse to do. He loves to throw things, destroy things, in general be destructive with his anger. I must admit, it gets old right quick, but even that gets interesting. He's classic in not getting that he hurts himself as much or more than the others around him. Things like well I will go to my room and I will never come out! Oh, OK sounds like a plan, son. Of course as soon as you agree that he can do that, he doesn't want to anymore. Even the hateful words can be amusing - like one of the classic screams is "you're fired". Oh, if we could only fire our mom's, eh? And where did he get this from - its not like even I watch the Apprentice! Its still kinda amusing -- I mean, if you can find defiance and anger issues amusing, but its good to find the upside of things if you hope to survive it day in and day out. And before you all get your tail in a knot - yes, we realize that he's a little scary for his age and all and we're doing everything we can to figure out why he's such an angry kid and no, you don't have to fear for your children or anything because he's only like this at home, and yes its pretty rough, and no I probably shouldn't make light of it, but yes, I would surely go insane if I didn't find the humor in my life with 4 unique kiddos.
Kenzie - well, she's pretty typical, I guess. I mean, after all, she IS two. And she acts like she is. And she is, after all a girl - I hear they are squealer, screechers by nature -though her being my only daughter I just take that on good authority. She can literally get down on the floor and kick and scream. She's got attitude and spunk and volume to spare but she seems like a pretty average 2 year old girl to me. The best is that she doesn't want to be outdone when Easton screams so she usually gets into the mix when he's melting down too. Then I find the humor in the fact that they have just awoken the entire neighborhood and while I'm sure the neighbors are miffed at that kind of alarm clock, its interesting to wonder about what they think is actually going on in our house ... or perhaps they just awake to it and thank God they don't actually live in our house, or have 4 small children and simply wish their neighbors didn't either....
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Little Kenzie-Lu-Who turns 2!
Today, I celebrate the birth of my daughter. While she still doesn't say a lot, she is showing her personality in so many fun ways. She adores her 3 big brothers and is tough. She'd rather hang with them than play with her own toys or kids her own age. She's tough, and can take the knocks that come with forever trying to keep up with her 3 older brothers. She's got plenty of Sass to keep them in line. She's becoming quite the little princess - caring more about her clothes and shoes than her 3 brothers combined, loving fun hats. She hates, hates hates getting her hair done, but loves the bath. She'll eat anything and everything. Her smiles lights up a room and her laughter will make you melt. She's absolutely adorable and she knows it! Sweet Kenzie - we love you!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Pittsburgh
Now, since I've been picking on my poor Washingtonian friends so much, I realized I should share the wealth and talk about the quirks in the other places I've lived. Side note: it was pretty darn hot today my friends - I was NOT a happy camper - perhaps not a "scorcher" but definitely a bit uncomfortable. Still, if I had this weather in any of the other places I lives, all with central air, the cheapo in me would not have turned it on (though I still would have complained about the heat!)
I digress, though. Let's be frank... every place has its quirks... and you may be proud of it or not but you have to admit you see it. I often succumb to the locals, I mean there is some wisdom in when in Rome do as the Romans do, right? Best to embrace the culture warts and all. Now, luckily for me I don't need to get offended really because, as my friends in high school so lovingly pointed out, I am without homeland. Not in the literal sense, I suppose, but I've moved around so much I don't really have an answer to the questions "Where are you from?" or "What is your hometown?". In fact, since my relatives can be traced back to Jamestown really as best as I can do for you is say - I'm American.
Again, I digress. The point is, I thought I'd share the wealth and talk about my dear Pittsburgh friends. Seriously people, you know if you don't do this, then it aggravates you that most of the local population does! Sure, it is worth mentioning the fact that you have your own language - yinz? seriously? Its like a real bad version of y'all! And Toboggan is NOT a hat folks, its a sled. Oh, and a stove is something you cook on not something you do to a finger or toe. And nebby doesn't exist anywhere else, though it should, and I personally am trying to get it to catch on all over the place. You have Eat N Park which, while a Pittsburgh institution that definitely I learned to enjoy for the milkshakes and of course smiley cookies (oooh, I could go for one of those - I haven't had one in 2.5 years!) but its just really a diner and in all fairness to my NY/NJ friends - not even a real diner.
The quirky unique thing that sticks out to me most though, is a specific driving piece of local etiquette that I don't get. C'mon all you Pittsburghers know already what I'm talking about! For those of you that have never had the chance to visit this place so near and dear to my heart, let me tell you that its a pretty hilly place. And, the roads can be kinda narrow and windy at times too. However, is it because yinz are such nice folks or what? Always putting others before yourselves, literally? See, in Pittsburgh, whatever the reason, the rules regarding right of way on the road go out the window. A car, on a 40mph road without a stop sign may notice someone at a stop sign they are approaching that wants to turn left, and they will politely stop and allow the person at the stop sign waiting to make a left, go ahead. Never mind that there is a blind curve behind them and most likely the traffic behind them would not expect to see a car stopped in the middle of the road where there is no stop sign. I will admit, though, while I feared being rear-ended frequently due to this phenomena, I never actually was nor do I know anyone who actually was, so perhaps since this is just a common occurrence, everyone DOES drive like they would expect a car stopped for no reason as they round every curve. Definitely, something to think about...
Pittsburghers - I'm sorry, you can't drive very well, but I love you! What an awesome city and a great place to spend 7 years of my life...
I digress, though. Let's be frank... every place has its quirks... and you may be proud of it or not but you have to admit you see it. I often succumb to the locals, I mean there is some wisdom in when in Rome do as the Romans do, right? Best to embrace the culture warts and all. Now, luckily for me I don't need to get offended really because, as my friends in high school so lovingly pointed out, I am without homeland. Not in the literal sense, I suppose, but I've moved around so much I don't really have an answer to the questions "Where are you from?" or "What is your hometown?". In fact, since my relatives can be traced back to Jamestown really as best as I can do for you is say - I'm American.
Again, I digress. The point is, I thought I'd share the wealth and talk about my dear Pittsburgh friends. Seriously people, you know if you don't do this, then it aggravates you that most of the local population does! Sure, it is worth mentioning the fact that you have your own language - yinz? seriously? Its like a real bad version of y'all! And Toboggan is NOT a hat folks, its a sled. Oh, and a stove is something you cook on not something you do to a finger or toe. And nebby doesn't exist anywhere else, though it should, and I personally am trying to get it to catch on all over the place. You have Eat N Park which, while a Pittsburgh institution that definitely I learned to enjoy for the milkshakes and of course smiley cookies (oooh, I could go for one of those - I haven't had one in 2.5 years!) but its just really a diner and in all fairness to my NY/NJ friends - not even a real diner.
The quirky unique thing that sticks out to me most though, is a specific driving piece of local etiquette that I don't get. C'mon all you Pittsburghers know already what I'm talking about! For those of you that have never had the chance to visit this place so near and dear to my heart, let me tell you that its a pretty hilly place. And, the roads can be kinda narrow and windy at times too. However, is it because yinz are such nice folks or what? Always putting others before yourselves, literally? See, in Pittsburgh, whatever the reason, the rules regarding right of way on the road go out the window. A car, on a 40mph road without a stop sign may notice someone at a stop sign they are approaching that wants to turn left, and they will politely stop and allow the person at the stop sign waiting to make a left, go ahead. Never mind that there is a blind curve behind them and most likely the traffic behind them would not expect to see a car stopped in the middle of the road where there is no stop sign. I will admit, though, while I feared being rear-ended frequently due to this phenomena, I never actually was nor do I know anyone who actually was, so perhaps since this is just a common occurrence, everyone DOES drive like they would expect a car stopped for no reason as they round every curve. Definitely, something to think about...
Pittsburghers - I'm sorry, you can't drive very well, but I love you! What an awesome city and a great place to spend 7 years of my life...
Thursday, May 28, 2009
It's Gonna Be a Scorcher...
Let me start by saying I love all my western Washingtonian friends, but this part just cracks me up! I also just love, love, love living in Western Washington, I love all the weird weather phenomena and I even love the very short, dark, rainy winter days. I also must admit that one of the main reasons I love it here is because I do not like the heat and I hate humidity even more. I will only visit my own parents (who live in S.C.) in the winter. I have lived in other regions of the U.S. and I KNOW I don't like heat and humidity. Course, I don't really like the cold either. I'd like to live at 70 year round inside and out.
The thing that CRACKS me up about people here though is THEIR thoughts on heat. OK, I kid you not, the heat at even PUBLIC places here is like the A/C in New Orleans... too much to accommodate for the outside conditions. I've learned not to dress like winter even though the temps are 30's or 40's out because anything more than a long sleeve will kill you with the heat! I've realized that folks here don't dress for winter - I mean its semi-difficult to find something heavier than a long sleeve T and most folks wear short-sleeves year round... its no wonder they have to turn the heat up so high. Its like they think because they live near the ocean, they deserve tropical weather or something. BUT the FLIP SIDE is that on a day like today, I've heard people say "Its gonna be a scorcher!".... but the high temp is supposed to be low 70's and the humidity less than 50%. Granted, its plenty hot for me but a scorcher? I save that kind of language for temps in the 80's at least...
The thing that CRACKS me up about people here though is THEIR thoughts on heat. OK, I kid you not, the heat at even PUBLIC places here is like the A/C in New Orleans... too much to accommodate for the outside conditions. I've learned not to dress like winter even though the temps are 30's or 40's out because anything more than a long sleeve will kill you with the heat! I've realized that folks here don't dress for winter - I mean its semi-difficult to find something heavier than a long sleeve T and most folks wear short-sleeves year round... its no wonder they have to turn the heat up so high. Its like they think because they live near the ocean, they deserve tropical weather or something. BUT the FLIP SIDE is that on a day like today, I've heard people say "Its gonna be a scorcher!".... but the high temp is supposed to be low 70's and the humidity less than 50%. Granted, its plenty hot for me but a scorcher? I save that kind of language for temps in the 80's at least...
Sunday, May 24, 2009
That thing you do...
Our town has a big relay race every year (somehow that description doesn't begin to do it justice but we'll leave it at that) and my husband has participated in it the last couple of years. The other evening we were with his team for a pre-race gathering and as they went to talk business I was left with the other wives whom I'd just met, who were, both childless and participating in the same event. Have I ever done said event they wanted to know?...
Huh, uh, no. No, I am not and have not participated in this event. Why?? Well, I suppose I'll save the whole part about me being described once by my husband as "totally physically worthless" - and this was when I was young and in shape long before I was married with children. Alas, there is no event in this race for the 15-20 minute mile walker, the slow asthmatic swimmer. The only event in this race that I can say I've actually got any experience in, is the river canoe and uh-hum, I've never RACED in a canoe unless you count the middle schoolers at camp. So, I decided to spare them the whole story of my life-long lack of great athletic talent.
Instead, I just said, "Nope, I uh, well, I have 4 small children, so I don't really, uh, well, do much of anything."
How does one describe what it is I actually DO to a couple of childless people. Before kids, I could say "I'm a teacher" and people could picture what I do - at least a little bit. Now, I do a lot, but I do a little bit of this and a little bit of that and a whole lot of nothing at the same time. I don't do a paid work position. I don't even do a lot of leisure activities (I like to kid myself that I read on occasion). I don't go a lot of places and I don't get done have the things I'd like to. I don't have time to do a lot of things that would be nice.
Each day, though does not bring the same old monotony. Well, OK sometimes it feels like it does but in reality each day brings a new challenge, a new joy, a new thing to worry about, a new piece of exciting news... A good report card, a nightmare, this one learns to read and that one learns to jump and this one won the soccer game and that one lost a tooth, and this one had a fight with a friend at school and that one got a prize, this one fell off their bike and that one peed in their pants and that one learned a new word. This one needs a snack and that one needs a band aid and the other one needs their shoes tied and that one needs a new diaper. This one is taking time out to dance to the music and that one is smelling the flowers and this one is in time-out and that was is taking a nap.
And while somehow I do "mom" does even less justice to the position as "relay race" does for this fabulous mountain to bay extravaganza held each year in our area, it is what I do these days. I don't "do" much else these days ... and I wouldn't have it any other way (well, at least most of the time!)
Huh, uh, no. No, I am not and have not participated in this event. Why?? Well, I suppose I'll save the whole part about me being described once by my husband as "totally physically worthless" - and this was when I was young and in shape long before I was married with children. Alas, there is no event in this race for the 15-20 minute mile walker, the slow asthmatic swimmer. The only event in this race that I can say I've actually got any experience in, is the river canoe and uh-hum, I've never RACED in a canoe unless you count the middle schoolers at camp. So, I decided to spare them the whole story of my life-long lack of great athletic talent.
Instead, I just said, "Nope, I uh, well, I have 4 small children, so I don't really, uh, well, do much of anything."
How does one describe what it is I actually DO to a couple of childless people. Before kids, I could say "I'm a teacher" and people could picture what I do - at least a little bit. Now, I do a lot, but I do a little bit of this and a little bit of that and a whole lot of nothing at the same time. I don't do a paid work position. I don't even do a lot of leisure activities (I like to kid myself that I read on occasion). I don't go a lot of places and I don't get done have the things I'd like to. I don't have time to do a lot of things that would be nice.
Each day, though does not bring the same old monotony. Well, OK sometimes it feels like it does but in reality each day brings a new challenge, a new joy, a new thing to worry about, a new piece of exciting news... A good report card, a nightmare, this one learns to read and that one learns to jump and this one won the soccer game and that one lost a tooth, and this one had a fight with a friend at school and that one got a prize, this one fell off their bike and that one peed in their pants and that one learned a new word. This one needs a snack and that one needs a band aid and the other one needs their shoes tied and that one needs a new diaper. This one is taking time out to dance to the music and that one is smelling the flowers and this one is in time-out and that was is taking a nap.
And while somehow I do "mom" does even less justice to the position as "relay race" does for this fabulous mountain to bay extravaganza held each year in our area, it is what I do these days. I don't "do" much else these days ... and I wouldn't have it any other way (well, at least most of the time!)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
People Say The Darndest Things...
So, in our year+ of being a bi-racial family, I've heard a lot of comments. I've gotten a lot of looks. We live in an area that is not horribly diverse. I've seen worse, where there is NO diversity, but still. However, I will say we haven't experienced a whole lot of negativity. Sure, there are the comments about how amazingly cute my daughter is, and while I'm sure of them are just saying that because I've caught them staring at us just trying to work out how she and I fit together, but I choose to just live in the world where they are in awe of her striking beauty - after all, I am! We've gotten the comments from a store employee shocked that this little girls mother left her alone in the cart, when I was just a couple feet away. We've had people, who know people, who have adopted and want to strike up conversations about said people they know as if we know every adoptive family in our county. We've had the typical ugly questions like "Are they all yours?" etc.
Today, we were prancing our little army through the church lobby on the way to their various Sunday school classrooms when we passed a sweet elderly gentleman who said something I can only speculate on because I didn't hear the whole first sentence but the follow-up sentence was "And the white ones are cute too!". The boys were talking amongst themselves and seemed not to have noticed, thankfully but my husband and I just looked at each other like "did you just hear what I heard??". I guess some folks just haven't learned to put a filter on their thoughts yet... Still, I suppose he meant well...
Today, we were prancing our little army through the church lobby on the way to their various Sunday school classrooms when we passed a sweet elderly gentleman who said something I can only speculate on because I didn't hear the whole first sentence but the follow-up sentence was "And the white ones are cute too!". The boys were talking amongst themselves and seemed not to have noticed, thankfully but my husband and I just looked at each other like "did you just hear what I heard??". I guess some folks just haven't learned to put a filter on their thoughts yet... Still, I suppose he meant well...
Friday, May 15, 2009
A First!
Leaving Trader Joe's this morning, my husband and I heard a woman calling "Excuse me! Excuse me!". We both turned around reluctantly expecting... well, I don't know what exactly we were expecting, but we were bracing ourselves. It was a bit too insistent for the usual "Oh, she's soooo beautiful" comment about my daughter. It could be some random person from church that recognizes Dave and wants to say hello. I was fairly certain the kids had been behaving and hadn't to my knowledge done anything to hurt the store in any way. Could be someone looking for money, or to sell something. Needless to say, we both stopped and turned with much trepidation...
"Would you mind if I touched your daughter's hair?". Strange. Different. Fun! Honestly, I struggle with MY OWN hair, I haven't a clue about my daughter's. Mind you, I TRY to be a girl for her sake but I just am at a loss. I've studied and mostly, I've turned to miracle products to save me (Thanks Suzi for doing all the research and just telling me what to buy!!!). We've come a long way in the learning... she still has issues with the back where it gets broken and lied on but it IS getting touchably soft. And while, we just do headbands or at most attempt some pigtails I've always agonized at my ineptness.
But here, was an African American woman admiring MY daughter's hair and saying hers is extremely tight curls like my daughters and she's trying to grow it out and have it look just like hers! Go figure. And, believe it or not she even felt for my son Easton and asked to see his hair as to not leave him out (freshly shorn as my hubby puts it, there wasn't much to see but its the thought that counts!). A first, and probably a last, but I'll take it - and far better a result to someone calling after you than wanting to sell you something!
"Would you mind if I touched your daughter's hair?". Strange. Different. Fun! Honestly, I struggle with MY OWN hair, I haven't a clue about my daughter's. Mind you, I TRY to be a girl for her sake but I just am at a loss. I've studied and mostly, I've turned to miracle products to save me (Thanks Suzi for doing all the research and just telling me what to buy!!!). We've come a long way in the learning... she still has issues with the back where it gets broken and lied on but it IS getting touchably soft. And while, we just do headbands or at most attempt some pigtails I've always agonized at my ineptness.
But here, was an African American woman admiring MY daughter's hair and saying hers is extremely tight curls like my daughters and she's trying to grow it out and have it look just like hers! Go figure. And, believe it or not she even felt for my son Easton and asked to see his hair as to not leave him out (freshly shorn as my hubby puts it, there wasn't much to see but its the thought that counts!). A first, and probably a last, but I'll take it - and far better a result to someone calling after you than wanting to sell you something!
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