Here We Go Again...

Well, many people have been asking me when the post will appear and we've finally hit the point in the process that I told myself I would announce to all of blog land that we are in the process of adopting our fifth child (3rd adoption and 4th adopted child).

The fact that we are adopting again was not a surprise to us, though, the timing was. At some point during the process of adopting BJ & Kenzie we knew, I think, that someday, we would adopt an older child... I think initially we were just thinking it would be a few years from now and that our daughter would be a year or two older or younger than Kenzie. Then, believe it or not, the boys - all three of them - began to talk of wanting an older sister. We took a look at little Lulu and realized too, that this is one spoiled princess that might not actually enjoy a sister so close to her age. However, with this many adoptions and agencies and friends who adopt I encounter the likes of waiting children around the globe on a semi-regular basis. I hear about them, read about them, see their faces but one day - in one girl's eyes, I saw my daughter... and the process began to make that feeling a legal reality.

I've decided for now, to not even mention her name or go into much detail here... there are many steps yet to go in the process. I will say that we are not working toward the waiting list but toward the referral of a particular child - a girl who is 10ish right now, and who awaits a forever family of her own in a government run orphanage in Ethiopia.

Despite the fact that this is not really an adoption blog per-se, international adoption is one of my passions. It combines so many things that are the most important to me. Its about justice for all and the fight against world poverty and a passion for Africa. And mostly, its about all children having a family who loves them.

I'm not a big debater - I don't enjoy it much. I realize that adoption doesn't fix world poverty and that there is great cost involved - and I honestly hope, pray and work toward seeing a day during my lifetime when international adoption ceases to exist because its not needed anymore. Adoption is far from the best solution. However, my kids - we the world, have already failed them. We're responsible for not doing enough to eliminate extreme hunger, poverty and disease - and its too late for my kids and many others for long-term solutions - they're already orphans... So yes, I have a "it matters to this one" approach.

I get comments of admiration from people frequently because of our adoptions and to be perfectly honest, it makes me uncomfortable. To me, its not something that is praiseworthy - its just me and my ordinary life. I suppose our family was built in a way that was not typical, but to me its just my family and boy most of the time, all of us - we're so far from admirable... Just ask my son Easton who frequently threatens to run away from our family. Most of the time it seems he'll be happy to tell you exactly why he would like any other family at all than ours! But the part that's neat, is that you can't beat the peace and smile that comes over his frustration as I tell him that he can run - but you don't get to pick your family - he's stuck with us, like it or not.

Other people just think we're crazy and most of the time, I'd probably agree. I was not someone that grew up with the idea of having a mid-size (I still contend that at 7 we fit into an ordinary typical family vehicle and therefore are not a large family) family and if you would have told me even just a few years ago that I would have 5 children I would have told you that while I love children I never want to actually live with and raise that many 24-7! Especially if you would have told me just how close in age they would be!

Part of why this post is so long over-due is because I've been on this roller coaster before. I know to expect hang-ups and disappointment. Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled and excited, but I'm experienced enough to know that there's still a lot I don't know. I know that I'm still learning each and every day about all of my children and learning how to parent a lot of unique kids with their own unique struggles. And I know enough about the adoption process to know that there will be setbacks and disappointments, frustrations and fears and enough to know that I can't predict what exactly they'll be.

It may be awhile before there is further news on this adoption front as we have hit our first set back. The USCIS rules changed suddenly - and unfortunately for us, just days before our final step. As a result, we're essentially starting over with that piece of the process. While all the other paperwork is essentially done, we can't move forward without this piece of the puzzle and the waiting could be weeks - months. While I'm confident that it all works out in the end - for the best, I'm an experienced waiter by now - but it is a little different since this is the first time we are adopting a waiting child... which means exactly that she HAS been waiting for YEARS already, and now continues to wait as we wait to complete the process. There are many more steps in the process that await - many more places for potential setbacks but we are hopeful that she will be home with us sometime in 2010...

... and then I will really need help --- what on earth do I know about tween girls??- absolutely nothing!!!!

boys will be boys ... and I'll never understand why...

I know this is kinda a repeat of another post but its still a phenomenon that baffles me. You'd think I'd learn more being surrounded by four boys but I seem to be more baffled each time.

One of my sons is just all boy - he's hard on things. Do you know what I'm talking about? Toys that he doesn't get are played with too hard and broken quickly. Jeans get approx. three wearings before there are holes in the knees. Stains are a constant. He wears through 3 pairs of shoes for every one of his brothers. Everything is full-throttle and with ultimate strength. Combine that with the 'I dunno why' attitude and we go through "things" for no apparent reason.

I'm having a tough time reconciling my 'cheap mama' side with the 'boys will be boys' destructiveness. Or even carelessness. For example, it occurred to me the other day that either I will be bathing my children well into their adult lives OR I better just get used to the fact that they use too much shampoo/soap/toothpaste etc and I will have to buy twice as much.

Even, when I do eventually dig deep enough to get an answer to the "why", I'm not satisfied. For real, you ripped the pocket off your jacket - thus ripping two HUGE holes in the fabric of your ONLY (and new, I might add - that has at least 2 more siblings to go through!) hoodie because you wanted to make the pocket bigger? You actually have the strength to do that? For real, you did this on purpose? I mean, REALLY, you just sat there and pulled on the pocket this hard on PURPOSE??? Oh, of course, I understand, you were just trying to make it BIGGER, you never imagined it would put huge holes in your hoodie. Yes, dare I ask WHY you were trying to make the pocket bigger? Seriously, you don't know? You just looked down one day and thought - hey I wonder what will happen if if pull and pull and pull on my pocket? No? Why then? Oh, because you were trying to fit a giant rock into your pocket at recess? Aren't you not supposed to bring rocks in from the playground? Right, thus you were making your pocket bigger so you could "hide" said rock. So really, we're in double trouble here - tearing the jacket AND trying to disobey your teacher.

Love it.

Fall

We have had the most beautiful weather, and for that I'm thankful. After the amazing summer we've had I was just sure I'd be out on the soccer field in the pouring rain all fall... but it hasn't been the case at all! Sure last week was a bit windy and a touch chilly but dry!

The problem with the great weather is that I want to soak it up and appreciate it! BUT, the list of inside to-do's keeps growing and growing and growing... and I'm actually kind of excited about the rains coming and being stuck in the house! Sure, I'm hoping for more time to read by the fire with a great cup of tea, to sit and visit with friends, to play games and read books with my kiddos, and to perhaps do better at blogging (gasp!). However, I'm itching to set up new systems of organization (something I love doing), purging old junk (another fave!), and even cleaning.

Now, remind me of this post as fall turns to winter and I'm complaining about the cold (and hopefully not much snow) and how I have cabin fever and being stuck in the house is driving me crazy. I KNOW those days of wanting to get out will come - but for now - I'm looking forward to a few good rainy days - time enough to catch up and enjoy all the things I love about fall...