Really, I can't complain. My newest daughter has amazing courage and a fabulous attitude. Oh sure, there are challenges for us all, but her graciousness and kind and helpful spirit are definitely making even those easier. I remember the extremely difficult time I had moving, WITH MY FAMILY, from the Midwest to the east coast, and I am amazed by her.
Growing from 4-5 has not been very noticeable. The dishwasher needs to be run more frequently, and 5 kids sharing a bathroom (one being a pre-teen girl!) is going to take a few more creative solutions to make it work better, but all in all not near as drastic as doubling 1-2 or 2-4 as in the past.
I'm learning that while silence is golden it can also be challenging. Being older than Behailu, its taking Ayelech longer to pick up on language as well as to gain the confidence of using it. I suspect behind her quiet demeanor lies your average giggly pre-teen girl - that she isn't necessarily quiet by nature but rather by circumstance. Its sometimes tough to live in the silence, and hard to know how much is boredom, grief, fear and plain old pre-teen behavior.
I feel like the bond is growing. Her smile and laughter are amazing gifts. I enjoy the time we spend together and feel like we are relationship in progress.
We've had only one battle of wills so far, though I know others are surely coming - after all, she will turn 13 next year. It is my quote that there is nothing, no nothing on this planet like an 8th grade girl! And that battle, while worth fighting, I can't say I blame her for. With the language barrier she probably thinks I'm absolutely insane. You know you have to have THOSE tests done - after all Behailu has more parasites than the health dept could name when he came home. Those of you who have struggled with them understand the necessity of scooping the poop. However, can you imagine what she writes in her letters about her life in America and her new mom? "This crazy lady wants to collect my poop in little jars!". She's been such a trooper about trying all these new things but this was asking way too much.
Challenges will continue. I'm thankful for the summer that gives us a break to just be - we are working some on language etc but its good to spend lots of time as a family unit. I know that as language increases, bonds and she begins to feel more comfortable, we'll have more challenges and learn more about her tough story. I know that we have to go through that to get to healing.
Right now, at age twelve, my daughter wants to become a Dr. and return to Ethiopia. Some may see that as a heartbreaking sign against seeing this as a home. I don't. I see it as amazing. When she told me that at age 18 she wants to visit Ethiopia, I told her this from the bottom of my heart: "We will 'visit' Ethiopia long even before you are 18. We will go and experience it together. And after you finish High School and College ... if you decide to study to be a Dr. and want to go back to Ethiopia, I will gladly help you - I will connect you with my Ethiopian Dr friend and help you find a job --- I will support you and be proud of you as you become the amazing woman God has planned for you. When you are grown, if your dreams take you far away from me, to Ethiopia, I will be sad but proud of all you are doing. And wherever those dreams may take you -no matter how far or near, you will always have a place here, with us. because you are our daughter, and we love you."
To be continued...
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