Oh, this could definitely be a self-deprecating post about all the times I fall short of my expectations of myself as a mother or the ways I don't meet the needs of my kids on a daily basis. I could fill long posts on that stuff everyday. But, not this time, anyway. This one is about how I'm honored to NOT be the best mom in the world.
I'm growing older - celebrating another blessed year of my life. Perhaps more on growing up (rather grow up than out and old, don't ya think?) another day perhaps. All this to say, the other day was my birthday. I'm not a big birthday gifter person - at least not for myself - and so its not our habit that my children would buy me gifts... but on occasion to honor the passing of the years, one will grace me with a picture or card of some sort that they've made. My oldest son Trevor had done just that - reading it aloud to me - You're the best mom in the world!!! I love young children - you know you won't remain there in the teen years and you just hope that one day maybe they'll come back to thinking that all in all you did a pretty good job. What can I say, I set my standards low - try to prep for the years when my house is instead full of teenage hormones. But, I digress .... again!
While Trevor was reading me his card, my son Behailu was there and said matter-of-factly: "No, she isn't". Trevor kinda pushed back a little and he started talking of all his mothers. It didn't seem so much that he thought I was bad or even that the others were better than me, simply that I wasn't the best - I wasn't better than the special mothers in the orphanage, the wonderful orphanage director and his birth mother.
I was absolutely thrilled to see the care, concern and genuine love that the special mothers had for the kids. It was inspiring. It's clear on this end that my son at least felt as though he was not mother-less during his 8 months in an orphanage but was blessed to have several mothers at once to love and care for him. I never cease to be absolutely amazed by the wonderful orphanage director, not only how she gets business done and is respected by her staff but also how she knows each child well - knows their personality, their story, their needs and loves them all unconditionally. I am blessed to call her friend and Behailu is blessed to call her one of his many mothers. I never cease to be in awe of my son's birth mother. As I stare at her photo and piece together some of her life - from the perspective of a young child - her son - and my son, we are bound by our love for these children. I wish I could put into words, but it is an awe... I'm in awe of her love, her strength, her hope, her perseverance.
And so, I am content. I'm so very content to NOT be the best mom in the world. With company like that, who could argue that its simply an honor and privilege to be on the list...
Monday, December 21, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Happy Birthday, Behailu
Today is the day we celebrate Behailu - and his officially turning 7! Honestly its still a little bit strange to me that its unlikely that this was the actual day of his birth, and that he may not even be seven. Dunno why that never knowing makes me feel sad, but it does.
Today, though, we celebrate BJ! He is amazing. Can I just say that? I know I'm biased. He is the most easy going member of the family. He takes a lot in stride - something that I think has made his transition to our family pretty easy. He loves, loves, loves being outside and playing sports. He plays hard - and has holey and stained jeans, jackets and shoes to prove it. His laughter is infectious. His smile can't help but brighten your day. He's too social for his own good, as his teachers can testify to. He's smart - reading and doing math in the top half of his class, even though English is pretty much his third language. He is so precious and we've hit the point that I forget he hasn't always been here - just the other day I was talking about our house in Pittsburgh - forgetting he'd never been there.
I don't want to seem unauthentic, though. Adopting a 5 year old definitely has its challenges and we've had our share - from potty issues, to food issues, to lying and even the occasional stealing, to bullying and nightmares and plays for attention. And if you are considering older child adoption and want to know details, I'm happy to share. In this family - we know we're all not perfect - we all have issues - from Adoption loss, attachment, ADHD, Sensory Processing Dysfunction, Anxiety Disorder, anger issues, but we work on our issues and rejoice in our strengths and can't imagine our family any other way. And is it all worth it? - Without out doubt! My pet peeve is people just meeting me but knowing OF me and saying how amazing how I'm helping all those children - but I really feel that I am the one who is blessed by all of them!
Today, though, we celebrate BJ! He is amazing. Can I just say that? I know I'm biased. He is the most easy going member of the family. He takes a lot in stride - something that I think has made his transition to our family pretty easy. He loves, loves, loves being outside and playing sports. He plays hard - and has holey and stained jeans, jackets and shoes to prove it. His laughter is infectious. His smile can't help but brighten your day. He's too social for his own good, as his teachers can testify to. He's smart - reading and doing math in the top half of his class, even though English is pretty much his third language. He is so precious and we've hit the point that I forget he hasn't always been here - just the other day I was talking about our house in Pittsburgh - forgetting he'd never been there.
I don't want to seem unauthentic, though. Adopting a 5 year old definitely has its challenges and we've had our share - from potty issues, to food issues, to lying and even the occasional stealing, to bullying and nightmares and plays for attention. And if you are considering older child adoption and want to know details, I'm happy to share. In this family - we know we're all not perfect - we all have issues - from Adoption loss, attachment, ADHD, Sensory Processing Dysfunction, Anxiety Disorder, anger issues, but we work on our issues and rejoice in our strengths and can't imagine our family any other way. And is it all worth it? - Without out doubt! My pet peeve is people just meeting me but knowing OF me and saying how amazing how I'm helping all those children - but I really feel that I am the one who is blessed by all of them!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
That's sure a lot of food!
The other day I was doing the grocery shopping with Lulu. She is not a huge fan of grocery shopping and so occupies herself with greeting all the other shoppers. The reactions she gets are varied but we had a first the other day ' "Wow, that sure is a lot of food!".
First, I thought "you haven't seen anything - we're only half-way done here!" Then I started to justify. After all, I try to shop only once a week and I do have a family of 6, Mr. bachelor man. Plus, our church collects food for the local food pantry on Christmas Eve and so I try to buy lots of extra pantry items the month of December.
In my post-thanksgiving shopping though, it did occur to me that despite all those wonderful excuses, it sure WAS a lot of food... a lot of food so easily obtained. I came home to my son who still two years later has some pretty serious food issues because he KNOWS all about REALLY starving and how impossible it must go from starving to American grocery stores. And worse yet, American attitudes where we throw out terms like "Man, I'm STARVING" so loosely as if we know what starving is and justify our tons of food that we purchase and eat - and let spoil and throw away. And I can't say I blame my son for not being able to stop eating before he's sick, or lacking the self-control to stop himself from taking food that he knows he shouldn't eat. How does a five year old process that? And what can we learn from him?
First, I thought "you haven't seen anything - we're only half-way done here!" Then I started to justify. After all, I try to shop only once a week and I do have a family of 6, Mr. bachelor man. Plus, our church collects food for the local food pantry on Christmas Eve and so I try to buy lots of extra pantry items the month of December.
In my post-thanksgiving shopping though, it did occur to me that despite all those wonderful excuses, it sure WAS a lot of food... a lot of food so easily obtained. I came home to my son who still two years later has some pretty serious food issues because he KNOWS all about REALLY starving and how impossible it must go from starving to American grocery stores. And worse yet, American attitudes where we throw out terms like "Man, I'm STARVING" so loosely as if we know what starving is and justify our tons of food that we purchase and eat - and let spoil and throw away. And I can't say I blame my son for not being able to stop eating before he's sick, or lacking the self-control to stop himself from taking food that he knows he shouldn't eat. How does a five year old process that? And what can we learn from him?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Here We Go Again...
Well, many people have been asking me when the post will appear and we've finally hit the point in the process that I told myself I would announce to all of blog land that we are in the process of adopting our fifth child (3rd adoption and 4th adopted child).
The fact that we are adopting again was not a surprise to us, though, the timing was. At some point during the process of adopting BJ & Kenzie we knew, I think, that someday, we would adopt an older child... I think initially we were just thinking it would be a few years from now and that our daughter would be a year or two older or younger than Kenzie. Then, believe it or not, the boys - all three of them - began to talk of wanting an older sister. We took a look at little Lulu and realized too, that this is one spoiled princess that might not actually enjoy a sister so close to her age. However, with this many adoptions and agencies and friends who adopt I encounter the likes of waiting children around the globe on a semi-regular basis. I hear about them, read about them, see their faces but one day - in one girl's eyes, I saw my daughter... and the process began to make that feeling a legal reality.
I've decided for now, to not even mention her name or go into much detail here... there are many steps yet to go in the process. I will say that we are not working toward the waiting list but toward the referral of a particular child - a girl who is 10ish right now, and who awaits a forever family of her own in a government run orphanage in Ethiopia.
Despite the fact that this is not really an adoption blog per-se, international adoption is one of my passions. It combines so many things that are the most important to me. Its about justice for all and the fight against world poverty and a passion for Africa. And mostly, its about all children having a family who loves them.
I'm not a big debater - I don't enjoy it much. I realize that adoption doesn't fix world poverty and that there is great cost involved - and I honestly hope, pray and work toward seeing a day during my lifetime when international adoption ceases to exist because its not needed anymore. Adoption is far from the best solution. However, my kids - we the world, have already failed them. We're responsible for not doing enough to eliminate extreme hunger, poverty and disease - and its too late for my kids and many others for long-term solutions - they're already orphans... So yes, I have a "it matters to this one" approach.
I get comments of admiration from people frequently because of our adoptions and to be perfectly honest, it makes me uncomfortable. To me, its not something that is praiseworthy - its just me and my ordinary life. I suppose our family was built in a way that was not typical, but to me its just my family and boy most of the time, all of us - we're so far from admirable... Just ask my son Easton who frequently threatens to run away from our family. Most of the time it seems he'll be happy to tell you exactly why he would like any other family at all than ours! But the part that's neat, is that you can't beat the peace and smile that comes over his frustration as I tell him that he can run - but you don't get to pick your family - he's stuck with us, like it or not.
Other people just think we're crazy and most of the time, I'd probably agree. I was not someone that grew up with the idea of having a mid-size (I still contend that at 7 we fit into an ordinary typical family vehicle and therefore are not a large family) family and if you would have told me even just a few years ago that I would have 5 children I would have told you that while I love children I never want to actually live with and raise that many 24-7! Especially if you would have told me just how close in age they would be!
Part of why this post is so long over-due is because I've been on this roller coaster before. I know to expect hang-ups and disappointment. Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled and excited, but I'm experienced enough to know that there's still a lot I don't know. I know that I'm still learning each and every day about all of my children and learning how to parent a lot of unique kids with their own unique struggles. And I know enough about the adoption process to know that there will be setbacks and disappointments, frustrations and fears and enough to know that I can't predict what exactly they'll be.
It may be awhile before there is further news on this adoption front as we have hit our first set back. The USCIS rules changed suddenly - and unfortunately for us, just days before our final step. As a result, we're essentially starting over with that piece of the process. While all the other paperwork is essentially done, we can't move forward without this piece of the puzzle and the waiting could be weeks - months. While I'm confident that it all works out in the end - for the best, I'm an experienced waiter by now - but it is a little different since this is the first time we are adopting a waiting child... which means exactly that she HAS been waiting for YEARS already, and now continues to wait as we wait to complete the process. There are many more steps in the process that await - many more places for potential setbacks but we are hopeful that she will be home with us sometime in 2010...
... and then I will really need help --- what on earth do I know about tween girls??- absolutely nothing!!!!
The fact that we are adopting again was not a surprise to us, though, the timing was. At some point during the process of adopting BJ & Kenzie we knew, I think, that someday, we would adopt an older child... I think initially we were just thinking it would be a few years from now and that our daughter would be a year or two older or younger than Kenzie. Then, believe it or not, the boys - all three of them - began to talk of wanting an older sister. We took a look at little Lulu and realized too, that this is one spoiled princess that might not actually enjoy a sister so close to her age. However, with this many adoptions and agencies and friends who adopt I encounter the likes of waiting children around the globe on a semi-regular basis. I hear about them, read about them, see their faces but one day - in one girl's eyes, I saw my daughter... and the process began to make that feeling a legal reality.
I've decided for now, to not even mention her name or go into much detail here... there are many steps yet to go in the process. I will say that we are not working toward the waiting list but toward the referral of a particular child - a girl who is 10ish right now, and who awaits a forever family of her own in a government run orphanage in Ethiopia.
Despite the fact that this is not really an adoption blog per-se, international adoption is one of my passions. It combines so many things that are the most important to me. Its about justice for all and the fight against world poverty and a passion for Africa. And mostly, its about all children having a family who loves them.
I'm not a big debater - I don't enjoy it much. I realize that adoption doesn't fix world poverty and that there is great cost involved - and I honestly hope, pray and work toward seeing a day during my lifetime when international adoption ceases to exist because its not needed anymore. Adoption is far from the best solution. However, my kids - we the world, have already failed them. We're responsible for not doing enough to eliminate extreme hunger, poverty and disease - and its too late for my kids and many others for long-term solutions - they're already orphans... So yes, I have a "it matters to this one" approach.
I get comments of admiration from people frequently because of our adoptions and to be perfectly honest, it makes me uncomfortable. To me, its not something that is praiseworthy - its just me and my ordinary life. I suppose our family was built in a way that was not typical, but to me its just my family and boy most of the time, all of us - we're so far from admirable... Just ask my son Easton who frequently threatens to run away from our family. Most of the time it seems he'll be happy to tell you exactly why he would like any other family at all than ours! But the part that's neat, is that you can't beat the peace and smile that comes over his frustration as I tell him that he can run - but you don't get to pick your family - he's stuck with us, like it or not.
Other people just think we're crazy and most of the time, I'd probably agree. I was not someone that grew up with the idea of having a mid-size (I still contend that at 7 we fit into an ordinary typical family vehicle and therefore are not a large family) family and if you would have told me even just a few years ago that I would have 5 children I would have told you that while I love children I never want to actually live with and raise that many 24-7! Especially if you would have told me just how close in age they would be!
Part of why this post is so long over-due is because I've been on this roller coaster before. I know to expect hang-ups and disappointment. Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled and excited, but I'm experienced enough to know that there's still a lot I don't know. I know that I'm still learning each and every day about all of my children and learning how to parent a lot of unique kids with their own unique struggles. And I know enough about the adoption process to know that there will be setbacks and disappointments, frustrations and fears and enough to know that I can't predict what exactly they'll be.
It may be awhile before there is further news on this adoption front as we have hit our first set back. The USCIS rules changed suddenly - and unfortunately for us, just days before our final step. As a result, we're essentially starting over with that piece of the process. While all the other paperwork is essentially done, we can't move forward without this piece of the puzzle and the waiting could be weeks - months. While I'm confident that it all works out in the end - for the best, I'm an experienced waiter by now - but it is a little different since this is the first time we are adopting a waiting child... which means exactly that she HAS been waiting for YEARS already, and now continues to wait as we wait to complete the process. There are many more steps in the process that await - many more places for potential setbacks but we are hopeful that she will be home with us sometime in 2010...
... and then I will really need help --- what on earth do I know about tween girls??- absolutely nothing!!!!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
boys will be boys ... and I'll never understand why...
I know this is kinda a repeat of another post but its still a phenomenon that baffles me. You'd think I'd learn more being surrounded by four boys but I seem to be more baffled each time.
One of my sons is just all boy - he's hard on things. Do you know what I'm talking about? Toys that he doesn't get are played with too hard and broken quickly. Jeans get approx. three wearings before there are holes in the knees. Stains are a constant. He wears through 3 pairs of shoes for every one of his brothers. Everything is full-throttle and with ultimate strength. Combine that with the 'I dunno why' attitude and we go through "things" for no apparent reason.
I'm having a tough time reconciling my 'cheap mama' side with the 'boys will be boys' destructiveness. Or even carelessness. For example, it occurred to me the other day that either I will be bathing my children well into their adult lives OR I better just get used to the fact that they use too much shampoo/soap/toothpaste etc and I will have to buy twice as much.
Even, when I do eventually dig deep enough to get an answer to the "why", I'm not satisfied. For real, you ripped the pocket off your jacket - thus ripping two HUGE holes in the fabric of your ONLY (and new, I might add - that has at least 2 more siblings to go through!) hoodie because you wanted to make the pocket bigger? You actually have the strength to do that? For real, you did this on purpose? I mean, REALLY, you just sat there and pulled on the pocket this hard on PURPOSE??? Oh, of course, I understand, you were just trying to make it BIGGER, you never imagined it would put huge holes in your hoodie. Yes, dare I ask WHY you were trying to make the pocket bigger? Seriously, you don't know? You just looked down one day and thought - hey I wonder what will happen if if pull and pull and pull on my pocket? No? Why then? Oh, because you were trying to fit a giant rock into your pocket at recess? Aren't you not supposed to bring rocks in from the playground? Right, thus you were making your pocket bigger so you could "hide" said rock. So really, we're in double trouble here - tearing the jacket AND trying to disobey your teacher.
Love it.
One of my sons is just all boy - he's hard on things. Do you know what I'm talking about? Toys that he doesn't get are played with too hard and broken quickly. Jeans get approx. three wearings before there are holes in the knees. Stains are a constant. He wears through 3 pairs of shoes for every one of his brothers. Everything is full-throttle and with ultimate strength. Combine that with the 'I dunno why' attitude and we go through "things" for no apparent reason.
I'm having a tough time reconciling my 'cheap mama' side with the 'boys will be boys' destructiveness. Or even carelessness. For example, it occurred to me the other day that either I will be bathing my children well into their adult lives OR I better just get used to the fact that they use too much shampoo/soap/toothpaste etc and I will have to buy twice as much.
Even, when I do eventually dig deep enough to get an answer to the "why", I'm not satisfied. For real, you ripped the pocket off your jacket - thus ripping two HUGE holes in the fabric of your ONLY (and new, I might add - that has at least 2 more siblings to go through!) hoodie because you wanted to make the pocket bigger? You actually have the strength to do that? For real, you did this on purpose? I mean, REALLY, you just sat there and pulled on the pocket this hard on PURPOSE??? Oh, of course, I understand, you were just trying to make it BIGGER, you never imagined it would put huge holes in your hoodie. Yes, dare I ask WHY you were trying to make the pocket bigger? Seriously, you don't know? You just looked down one day and thought - hey I wonder what will happen if if pull and pull and pull on my pocket? No? Why then? Oh, because you were trying to fit a giant rock into your pocket at recess? Aren't you not supposed to bring rocks in from the playground? Right, thus you were making your pocket bigger so you could "hide" said rock. So really, we're in double trouble here - tearing the jacket AND trying to disobey your teacher.
Love it.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Fall
We have had the most beautiful weather, and for that I'm thankful. After the amazing summer we've had I was just sure I'd be out on the soccer field in the pouring rain all fall... but it hasn't been the case at all! Sure last week was a bit windy and a touch chilly but dry!
The problem with the great weather is that I want to soak it up and appreciate it! BUT, the list of inside to-do's keeps growing and growing and growing... and I'm actually kind of excited about the rains coming and being stuck in the house! Sure, I'm hoping for more time to read by the fire with a great cup of tea, to sit and visit with friends, to play games and read books with my kiddos, and to perhaps do better at blogging (gasp!). However, I'm itching to set up new systems of organization (something I love doing), purging old junk (another fave!), and even cleaning.
Now, remind me of this post as fall turns to winter and I'm complaining about the cold (and hopefully not much snow) and how I have cabin fever and being stuck in the house is driving me crazy. I KNOW those days of wanting to get out will come - but for now - I'm looking forward to a few good rainy days - time enough to catch up and enjoy all the things I love about fall...
The problem with the great weather is that I want to soak it up and appreciate it! BUT, the list of inside to-do's keeps growing and growing and growing... and I'm actually kind of excited about the rains coming and being stuck in the house! Sure, I'm hoping for more time to read by the fire with a great cup of tea, to sit and visit with friends, to play games and read books with my kiddos, and to perhaps do better at blogging (gasp!). However, I'm itching to set up new systems of organization (something I love doing), purging old junk (another fave!), and even cleaning.
Now, remind me of this post as fall turns to winter and I'm complaining about the cold (and hopefully not much snow) and how I have cabin fever and being stuck in the house is driving me crazy. I KNOW those days of wanting to get out will come - but for now - I'm looking forward to a few good rainy days - time enough to catch up and enjoy all the things I love about fall...
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Paper chasing...
...A term so often used in the prep work for adoption. Its a good description, really, because you're just running through different governments and agencies and asking for paper, waiting on this piece of paper so that you can qualify for your next piece of paper. And you do this for months.
I've chased paper 3x now, and you'd think it would get easier. You think you've got it down. You think you've seen it all before. You think you've got a plan, a system. You think you've set your expectations low (waiting on afore mentioned various govt. agencies).
However, the paper chase, at least for me, always, at some point, feels like all you are is a dog chasing its tail in circles. It's deceptive like that. For a time, you feel as though you are making progress, until all of a sudden you've realized you've circled round and are right back where you started from. Alright, admittedly, you do eventually make it to the end of this great paper chase so I supposed technically its more of a spiral, circling backward but not quite all the way to the beginning.
And that spiraling can make you quite dizzy and not thinking straight. This is the point that you realize that despite all your efforts at organization, your low expectations, your previous experience with the process, your hard work, your diligent checking and rechecking that you are so turned around and confused you really don't have a clue what you're doing or why you were doing it in the first place.
An example was when we were nearing the end of a section of paper chase we could taste the finish line - we thought we were going to manage to survive the spiral and remain standing. We faltered a bit, when we realized we missed a new step but quickly recovered and sent out the trusty fed ex to the latest govt organization - and then received an email tracking that led us to believe we had somehow switched the labels and had really sent the fax to ourselves (super-saver no, less) and were now awaiting our docs to go to the holding facility and return to us so we could again attempt to send it across the country to the govt agency. The bright spot is that when you are this dizzy, the thought of paying to send yourself a fax and delay your progress is nothing but hysterically funny for some reason, a great source for many fits of laughter. This example even comes with a happy ending because while we were tossed to the ground from the spiral in fits of laughter with nothing to do but act hysterically, we found that really, the wrong email had been sent and indeed, the FedEx was sent to the proper place after all.
And then you do make it to the finish line, but really, the first finish line is just a waiting period before a flurry of secondary paper chasing, which is frantic but gets done and is busy bringing your kids home, just to come to the realization that still yet more paper chasing still lies ahead, and its all the same spiraling headache. For example, I thought I was kinda in the homestretch when one of my son's citizenship papers arrived - only to find out that they marked him as female (whoops - best not try to head across the border lest we have to explain why his papers don't exactly match!).
Anyway - best of luck to all you paper chasers out there! My only advice is to set the bar low and expect lots of speed bumps... but keep up the good work... it pays off royally in the end!
*note* - this is not meant to be negative. Sometimes things do get hung up because of a mistake on some one's part (like my son being listed as female) but lots of times, its just the way the system works (or doesn't...) ... the nature of the paper chasing beast... and not the fault of adoption or govt agencies.
I've chased paper 3x now, and you'd think it would get easier. You think you've got it down. You think you've seen it all before. You think you've got a plan, a system. You think you've set your expectations low (waiting on afore mentioned various govt. agencies).
However, the paper chase, at least for me, always, at some point, feels like all you are is a dog chasing its tail in circles. It's deceptive like that. For a time, you feel as though you are making progress, until all of a sudden you've realized you've circled round and are right back where you started from. Alright, admittedly, you do eventually make it to the end of this great paper chase so I supposed technically its more of a spiral, circling backward but not quite all the way to the beginning.
And that spiraling can make you quite dizzy and not thinking straight. This is the point that you realize that despite all your efforts at organization, your low expectations, your previous experience with the process, your hard work, your diligent checking and rechecking that you are so turned around and confused you really don't have a clue what you're doing or why you were doing it in the first place.
An example was when we were nearing the end of a section of paper chase we could taste the finish line - we thought we were going to manage to survive the spiral and remain standing. We faltered a bit, when we realized we missed a new step but quickly recovered and sent out the trusty fed ex to the latest govt organization - and then received an email tracking that led us to believe we had somehow switched the labels and had really sent the fax to ourselves (super-saver no, less) and were now awaiting our docs to go to the holding facility and return to us so we could again attempt to send it across the country to the govt agency. The bright spot is that when you are this dizzy, the thought of paying to send yourself a fax and delay your progress is nothing but hysterically funny for some reason, a great source for many fits of laughter. This example even comes with a happy ending because while we were tossed to the ground from the spiral in fits of laughter with nothing to do but act hysterically, we found that really, the wrong email had been sent and indeed, the FedEx was sent to the proper place after all.
And then you do make it to the finish line, but really, the first finish line is just a waiting period before a flurry of secondary paper chasing, which is frantic but gets done and is busy bringing your kids home, just to come to the realization that still yet more paper chasing still lies ahead, and its all the same spiraling headache. For example, I thought I was kinda in the homestretch when one of my son's citizenship papers arrived - only to find out that they marked him as female (whoops - best not try to head across the border lest we have to explain why his papers don't exactly match!).
Anyway - best of luck to all you paper chasers out there! My only advice is to set the bar low and expect lots of speed bumps... but keep up the good work... it pays off royally in the end!
*note* - this is not meant to be negative. Sometimes things do get hung up because of a mistake on some one's part (like my son being listed as female) but lots of times, its just the way the system works (or doesn't...) ... the nature of the paper chasing beast... and not the fault of adoption or govt agencies.
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