Paper chasing...

...A term so often used in the prep work for adoption. Its a good description, really, because you're just running through different governments and agencies and asking for paper, waiting on this piece of paper so that you can qualify for your next piece of paper. And you do this for months.

I've chased paper 3x now, and you'd think it would get easier. You think you've got it down. You think you've seen it all before. You think you've got a plan, a system. You think you've set your expectations low (waiting on afore mentioned various govt. agencies).

However, the paper chase, at least for me, always, at some point, feels like all you are is a dog chasing its tail in circles. It's deceptive like that. For a time, you feel as though you are making progress, until all of a sudden you've realized you've circled round and are right back where you started from. Alright, admittedly, you do eventually make it to the end of this great paper chase so I supposed technically its more of a spiral, circling backward but not quite all the way to the beginning.

And that spiraling can make you quite dizzy and not thinking straight. This is the point that you realize that despite all your efforts at organization, your low expectations, your previous experience with the process, your hard work, your diligent checking and rechecking that you are so turned around and confused you really don't have a clue what you're doing or why you were doing it in the first place.

An example was when we were nearing the end of a section of paper chase we could taste the finish line - we thought we were going to manage to survive the spiral and remain standing. We faltered a bit, when we realized we missed a new step but quickly recovered and sent out the trusty fed ex to the latest govt organization - and then received an email tracking that led us to believe we had somehow switched the labels and had really sent the fax to ourselves (super-saver no, less) and were now awaiting our docs to go to the holding facility and return to us so we could again attempt to send it across the country to the govt agency. The bright spot is that when you are this dizzy, the thought of paying to send yourself a fax and delay your progress is nothing but hysterically funny for some reason, a great source for many fits of laughter. This example even comes with a happy ending because while we were tossed to the ground from the spiral in fits of laughter with nothing to do but act hysterically, we found that really, the wrong email had been sent and indeed, the FedEx was sent to the proper place after all.

And then you do make it to the finish line, but really, the first finish line is just a waiting period before a flurry of secondary paper chasing, which is frantic but gets done and is busy bringing your kids home, just to come to the realization that still yet more paper chasing still lies ahead, and its all the same spiraling headache. For example, I thought I was kinda in the homestretch when one of my son's citizenship papers arrived - only to find out that they marked him as female (whoops - best not try to head across the border lest we have to explain why his papers don't exactly match!).

Anyway - best of luck to all you paper chasers out there! My only advice is to set the bar low and expect lots of speed bumps... but keep up the good work... it pays off royally in the end!

*note* - this is not meant to be negative. Sometimes things do get hung up because of a mistake on some one's part (like my son being listed as female) but lots of times, its just the way the system works (or doesn't...) ... the nature of the paper chasing beast... and not the fault of adoption or govt agencies.

The first day of the rest of my life...

This weekend I feel as though a new chapter in my life has just begun. BJ had his very first soccer game, and it got me thinking that with the number of children I have, this is only the beginning - that quite a good deal of the next several years of my life will be spent on various fields and courts cheering on my kiddos. Luckily for me our first foray into children's sports was pretty harmless. First off, the weather cooperated brilliantly. I'm thinking that come Oct I'm gonna be real tired of sitting in the rain watching over an hour of under 7's play soccer. Secondly, there was a pretty tame crowd. I've heard stories of sports parents - they can be worse than stage parents sometimes! Everyone involved this weekend was on their best behavior and I come away with no scary stories to share. Thirdly, it always helps to have lots to cheer about... and BJ's team was only scored on once by one team. Course, the good news is that BJ was right on that ball - the only one on his team! What a moment! Kenzie stopped her screaming, Easton stopped staring at the airplanes, Trevor opened his eyes and even I - who am not generally an animated sports fan - screamed 'Go BJ Go!!!!' Then, short of the goal, BJ just stopped and let the other kid have a clear shot. I'm sure he just felt badly and thought he'd let them score, right? As noble a reason that is, I doubt it. Perhaps he just got tired. Most likely though, he heard everyone calling his name and he thought he was in trouble again! Much celebrating took place by all teams with cheering, high-fives and good games and snack was served and all was right with the world. This new life might just be OK. Then again, ask me in another month...

time sure does fly when you're havin' fun!

This summer was a blast! I know, I was dreading it last spring but it turned out awesome! This was the first year in awhile that Dave had lots of vacation where we didn't have to use it really until summer so he had a ton of time off. We didn't really go anywhere or do much at all but it gave us time to hang out and enjoy our life together and made the summer really fly by! I'd love to say that my to-do list is completed and I have lots of productivity to show for my summer but sadly it didn't happen that way. I guess I've officially become a northwesterner - when the sun actually shines you take time to stop what you're doing and appreciate it, and we have had such a fabulous summer that well, we just did a lot of appreciating the sunshine!

Fall has now arrived, our bi-weekly trips to the apple farm have begun and we're starting to think ahead to hot bowls of soup and trips to the pumpkin patch and less about plotting trips to the beach. Soccer season is just starting for BJ and I'm trying to appreciate the nice weather and as I put all the games on the calendar cringed as I speculated how many times we'll be cheering him on in the pouring rain before the season ends. The boys began school and they all seem to be doing well and have good teachers. How is it that Trevor is already in second grade? His teacher is very structured so he so far is doing famously - I don't think we've had any meltdowns or wakeful nights yet! Hooray!! Behailu is in 1st grade and of course loves it - and the socializing most of all. We've lost him twice already only to find him separated from his class because he was chatting away in line and hadn't realized the class had left, but his teacher doesn't let him get away with much so that hopefully will help some! Easton started kindergarten with the same fabulous teacher the other boys have had and despite the district switching back to part time (bummer!) he is simply beaming on the days he gets go - so excited to be all grown up like his big brothers! This gives me 2-3 days every week where I just have 1 child at home all day - what a treat (and break from the noise!). I have more ambitions with what to do with this time than I have actual hours but here's to hopin' for some great productivity!

The purpose of my blog is more to recognize and enjoy the fun in my life and to find the humor amidst the chaos of raising 4 children, but this summer was so wonderful and so filled with joy I just didn't have time to stop the fun and blog about it! So instead, you get the basic get all caught up post and hopes and intentions to do better in the future. Only time will tell...

Things that make you go 'oh my'...

The other day we went to the beach again. We love the beach. We love living not to far from the beach. Kenzie absolutely looooves the beach, its actually one of her first words... most mornings she wakes up and says "beeps? beeps?". So, we came back from the beach and little Lulu had fallen asleep in her car seat literally just a few blocks from home. When Kenzie plays at the beach she does not hold back... she runs through the water, she plops down in the sand. She woke up as we got home so Dave gave her a quick rinse in the tub and put her down for a nap. After an hour of listening to her talk and sing I decided she was not gonna sleep and went to get her and had a 'oh my' moment. Dave apparently had taken off her suit and gave her a clean diaper and figured that she didn't need clothes for her nap - big mistake! She had neatly removed her diaper and taken 3 nicely formed poop balls and thrown them out of her crib - that's my baby - who wants poop in your bed, right? Lovely...

If you can't stand the heat...

... you're out of luck in the Pacific Northwest! I have been sooo cranky because its been so hot! For example, its currently 85 here in the house and its like sweet relief! I've never missed A/C so bad in my life! What happened to my lovely climactic utopia?!

In some shocking good, the summer is going great. Yup - its loud but at least a lot of life happens out doors and that's good because it seems every time I look out in the back yard the 4 have multiplied into oh - well about the whole neighborhood! The kids are having a blast and aren't too sick of each other yet. We've been enjoying camping trips and beach days and all kinds of fun and have lots more in store! Now instead of dreading summer, I'm starting to worry about shifting back into getting everyone up and out and on schedule again in the fall -- but at least we have another packed out month of summer left!

What's one more??

OK, I'm ready to admit it... I suppose we have a kinda largish family. I still don't think large - you know, everything is relative. I mean, I can admit we are not a SMALL family but really, wouldn't you define LARGE say when you can't all fit in a mini-van and have to drive one of those big 16 passenger vans around?

Its all about the mindset shift though. People talk about transitions of businesses and churches as they grow and evolve from small, to mid size to large. I guess I'd say a family that still fits in a mini-van is really only mid size. The point I was making though, is that I think I've finally made the mindset shift to being a mid size family. The little things like when someone asks for water you don't bring them a glass, you bring out a pitcher and a stack of cups. You EXPECT to go through several loaves of bread because, duh, there are just so many slices in one loaf - times 2 for a sandwich, times 7 days in a week times 6 people = well, lots of slices of bread! (you do the math if the sum really matters to you).

When my friends and neighbors kids' are here I always say "No problem! We're here - what's one more?" It sounds like the nice thing to say but really, most of the time its true. I've made the shift - if you're already bringing out a stack of cups and a pitcher, what's one (or two or three or 4 more?). The thing I can't get over is the noise level but you know what, really, 8 kids don't seem that much louder than 4 - they're all really too loud.

I've also noticed that as the kids age, life is much easier. I really still contend that 2 in diapers was way more difficult a stage than having 4 and only one of those in diapers. Babies and toddlers are hard work - as Easton says "Babies can be demanding!". Not that the older ones are not work to parent but its a different kind of work and it is the kind where adding more seems to occupy them and make life almost easier. For example, the other evening I had 8 kids here and 7 for dinner. I already cook a ton of food so that was unnoticeable, and the kids were older - and enjoyed playing together. There were even some older girls that thought playing with Kenzie was fun!

I'm just sayin' - what's one more?

Technology

Do you ever think about technology - its amazing how quickly it changes. I think about the things that my parents and grandparents didn't have that I can't imagine living without. Seriously, how did mothers SURVIVE without microwaves anyway? Or how about the fact that I could not believe when I was a junior in high school and my sister and I finally got our own phone line - and now neither of us even have any kind of land line in our homes at all.

While I remember the first VHS my family got growing up - it wasn't until just a couple of years ago we finally got a DVD player. You know how we got it? I'll share. Technically our first DVD player was a cast off, embarrassingly enough, from my more technology savvy parents. The remote never worked and so you only had the few buttons that were actually ON the player. Loads of fun when you can't "select" anything especially when the DVD you rented was set on "french" as the language and YOU could change it - if only, if only you could select English. Now, at the same time we techno-savvy folk had a sweet set-up - our old rack systems from middle school - tape player, tuner, large speakers and Dave's CD player. Nice. Well, the speakers were kinda on the fritz, then the CD player busted once and for all and then really the entire tuner was pretty much dead. We're thinking GREAT, we have to purchase a WHOLE RACK SYSTEM! So we head out to see how much that will be - and guess what we find out. Do you people know that for just a couple hundred bucks you can actually get 5 speaker surround sound system where the CD player CONTAINS the tuner and plays not only CD's but DVD's and the radio??? Phenomenal technology. Now the glass doors on the entertainment center hold all our old VHS tapes instead of a big rack system. Amazing technology.


The one I'm particularly jealous of is the whole Internet, email, cell phone stuff. Oh, teens today have it so easy! I remember trying to find payphones (remember all the "here's a quarter, call someone who cares jokes?!) to call home to say what I was doing with friends. Remember all the 10 cent long distance calling plans? Yes, I will clearly date myself as ancient here but WHILE I was in college - towards the end, they did announce that we could get free email addresses (whatever that was!) but you could only use them in the dumpy computer lab on the far end of campus so nobody bothered. I tell you I'm up nights still thinking about the money I could have saved on my long-distance romance with my future hubby if only we had simple basics like email and free mobile to mobile long distance calling plans or even just free calling after 9pm!
The thing about technology, is that once you've upgraded to the new technology you can't dream of ever going back again because you don't know how you managed to LIVE without it. This is why I personally dread upgrading my technology. I do my best to stay behind the curve, this way not only has it come down in price but I also knew that once I make that dreaded move, I'll never go back again. Yes folks, I married into my first CD player - seriously, because after investing that kind of cash in cassette tapes its hard to replace it all and start over again! Seriously though, I held out quite a while on the cell phone deal too, and then had to go a little while back to just my hubby having a cell with virtually no minutes and it was killer. Believe it or not, I was still working dial-up until about a year ago, now I don't know how I ever lived without my lap-top on wi-fi.

Am I just getting older or does it seem like the technology changes even quicker than it used to. Smart phones, facebook, blogs, twitter. With all this new technology comes a new way of life and new etiquette still evolving. How acceptable is it to talk on the phone in public, at dinner? How about texting? In class? In meetings? While driving? You'll find people to argue every side on these issues because there is no real social etiquette set on these things yet. Also, these technologies create new ways to interact. A great thing from one point of view - keeping in touch has never been easier - a quick click on facebook or details on a microblog. However, does everyone always care to know all these details about our lives and do we sometimes forget all the people that are reading and knowing all this micro slices of what we're up to and who we are? I've learned a lot about people I hardly know simply by reading their facebook status. I don't think that I really know them - but it does begin to draw a picture of them in some ways... what is important to them, what makes them laugh? What happens if you DON'T accept a friend request or you don't follow a friends twitter and what if you say you don't care to read everyone's blog? Or how about declining an invitation for something in real life and then forgetting and posting a status that says you were up to something entirely different? Technology - can't live with it - can't live without it!