2 weeks

Two weeks until our first court date. I remember all these same feelings from nearing the end of the adoption process with the other kids, but somehow, I'm feeling equally unprepared. The anticipation is overwhelming at times. The fear of the unknown. The excitement of getting close to the first meeting. The stress of trying to prepare to leave four kids at home with the grandparents for a couple of weeks. The frustration of having the future "up in the air" and unplanned. The disappointment of waiting longer than you hoped. The hesitation on those days when I don't feel like I'm being the mother I want to be with the 4 I already have. The organizing, as if somehow these tasks that keep me busy while I wait will somehow relieve the anxiety, hope, fear, joy, anticipation, hesitation, excitement, disappointment...