Talking...

I'm an expert talker. Even if you don't know me, I expect you can guess that I have the gift of gab. I talk like I write and so its a logical conclusion given the wordiness of pretty much each entry in this blog. Just because I can TALK does not mean I am very good at having a CONVERSATION. This is something that anyone that knows me a little bit knows. I'm awful with small talk and can't seem to hold a regular conversation. Some years back I tried to "practice" and "learn" but really, its no use, I'm simply socially challenged in this area. Another area of talking vs conversing where I am challenged is conversing with my kids. While its a unique experience with them all, and certainly interesting knowledge is surely gained on my part, it often somehow remains lacking...

My youngest, Kenzie (19 months), is just learning to talk. I'm starting to understand a little bit of her language. Isn't that a blast? I love watching children bloom into language, not to mention the frustration that subsides in both sides as the kids can finally express their desires and you can understand them! I am worried though. She babbles - constantly and LOUDLY, complete with inflection and plenty of attitude. Yes, I understand babbling is a good thing, its how children begin dealing with language but if she talks this much now....

Which brings me to my son Easton (5 1/2). We were worried about Easton. He was not talking at two and he was very frustrated. He had a couple of years of therapy with wonderful therapists and he caught up around age 4. Now we can't get him to stop the talking. Like his momma, he's a great talker and an awful conversationalist. Firstly, we call him the commentator. He just loves to point out the obvious. "Hey! I see a tow truck!" "Look at the tow truck!" "Did you see that tow truck?" "It was red" "Hey! I saw a tow truck!" and I don't care how long you hold out, he will not stop until someone acknowledges his words. Pointing out the obvious, all the time, is also embarrassing and frustrating sometimes, if you know what I mean. It's not always great to have everything "announced" even if it is true and factual. "Mom, that man's zipper is down!" or even "Mom, I think the zit on your nose is getting bigger!" Or worse... (you fill in the blank for all the "truthfully obvious" things you can think of that aren't so much fun when announced!)

BJ (age 6) CAN be a talker but most of the time the words flow if you are a peer and don't flow as much if you are an adult - especially an adult asking questions. If you are an adult asking questions then clearly you are interrogating and if one is under interrogation one must think hard about their response so as not to incriminate oneself and therefore the fewer words the better. Yes, you can watch him talking away with his brothers, and his friends and occasionally he'll tell us a story, but try to initiate conversation and well, uh, ummmm, that, I, uh, yeah? That's the answer you get to even questions like "What was your favorite thing at school today?" And note that it ends in a question mark because that's just it, his voice goes up as if to say "Is that the right answer?"

Talking with Trevor (almost 7) is about the opposite of talking with BJ. Ask one question like "What was your favorite thing at school today?" and come prepared to listen well, forever. He will remember every last detail, give you a full monologue of each thing the teacher said, each student and their questions, what everyone was wearing and then really the whole day was his favorite part and he will describe it all in detail if you let him. I should have seen this coming too. He "talked" at a typical age and said more difficult words (his first word was shoe) and could recognize and say every letter capital and lowercase by the age of 2, but he didn't have any verbs. Not one, he could just label things - all things, mind you. He actually qualified for speech as well and then it was like he knew what was coming because the day before it was supposed to start, he woke up speaking in full sentences. So, ask a question and you're set for the evening...

I guess you can say being a poor conversationalist runs in the family!