Labels

Yeah, not a fan of them. I think my bullheadedness on this comes from claustrophobia - who wants to be boxed into a label? There's a lot of pressure there in that label, don't you think?? It can get interesting at my house - one of my majors was psychology and my husbands was sociology. I like psychology because it looks at the individual whereas sociology is more about looking at people in groups of population.

One label I have is pastor's wife. UGH. When I first met my husband he was an architecture major. I could work with that -- what thoughts do you have about how "architect's wives" should behave? I didn't have a lot so there was room to create my own definition to that label! Freedom!! I knew all about pastor's wife and pastor's kids - a lot of my friends were PK's and I heard the whispers (Can you BELIEVE that boy just rode his skateboard through the fellowship hall??? In those RIPPED up jeans??? And he's the PASTOR'S SON!!! tsk tsk tsk...). I saw that the families had to stop to care for the knock at the door and the phone call and that the pastor's wife was often expected to always be gracious and sympathetic as well as fill in and do any jobs around the church that weren't filled. I'm a lot of great things, but I'm not sure how high up people would put gracious and sympathetic when describing me. So when my husband decided to go into ministry instead of architecture my reaction - thanks, but no thanks!

Luckily for him (and I suppose for me as well...) I was too far in love with him by that point to actually dump him for his career path change (though I did consider it!). I must admit that the congregations we've been a part of have been more forgiving with the label than I had worried about. I've blessedly never had to be the senior pastor's wife and also really enjoy the anonymity of that as well as being part of a large congregation brings... great places to hide.

I did that (hide) literally this weekend. My husband does preach every so often, last weekend being one of those times. I love to hear him - he does an amazing job (of course I'm not biased at all!). One of the reasons I think he's so great because he's very engaging by using lots of examples from his own life. The PROBLEM with that is that I'm a big part of his life, and I don't like to be in the spotlight - at all. This weekend in particular there were lots of references because it was a sermon on loving completely. I was extremely thankful for the 4 services, of which I attended one, and did not SIT with my husband and did not stop to chat with him afterward - this way see - most people don't know that I AM the Pastor's wife! I get to hide from the label and from the "oh, you guys are so cute!" stuff that comes after my most embarrassing moments are used for humor and example (usually of what NOT to do!). And the real humor comes from those few that really know us, and know that I'm sitting there trying my best to "blend" (right Kristin?!).

This is partly why its wonderful that we humans are all a conglomeration of a lot of labels, making us unique individuals. The fact is that our labels DO help define who we are - but if we feed any one of them more than the others it can become THE label that defines us - but by doing so, we lose the potential of becoming the complete person that God has created us to be. I AM a 'pastor's wife' (and found it isn't as bad as I'd thought), but I'm also a mother, a wallflower, a resident of WA state, a daughter, a socially challenged person, a friend, a procrastinator, a hypochondriac, a reader, a seeker of justice, a stumbler, a disciplinarian, a talker, a college graduate, a lover of Africa, a blog-writer, a gum addict, etc etc etc.